This place controls my will to live,
Damage control is code for silence,
Gun CONTROL conversations aren’t about my death,
Birth control IS,
Population control equals extermination,
Pro-Choice is a PRIVILEGE,
Pro-Life isn’t Pro-Living,
Bullets are Plan B contraceptives purchasable at Walmart,
It is never too late to terminate
BLACK BODIES
Are not fully human,
Melanin is a controlled substance,
Breathing equals out of control,
Speaking equals out of control,
Loving equals out of control,
Walking/Driving/Working equals out of control. Living means being out of control. I am out of control I won’t be controlled I have the will to live I will live I will myself to live I will not be controlled …To DEATH. The First Time
DEER DON’T GET STUCK IN HEADLIGHTS
BECAUSE THEY’RE BEING STANDOFFISH
OR STANDING THEIR GROUND!
They’re literally in a state of shock.
Their eyes aren’t really able to see orange and red
Which gives them both partial blindness
And awesome night vision.
In the darkness, their pupils dilate to span the entire eye, soaking in all the soft light they can making it easy for them to run and frolic all night long. But when those headlights come, they are so bright, the fully dilated pupils of their eyes can’t accept more light.
So they stand there
Frozen
Often till it’s too late.
Of course the average person
Doesn’t know this
Looking at this sacred creature
No patience
Yelling
MOVE STUPID DEER, MOVE!
But no
They stay
Become a sudden
Static statue
Fixture
Getting hit
And the average
onlooker
feels a combo
Pity and pissed
Thinking
HOW STUPID COULD YOU BE TO JUST STAY THERE AND TAKE THE BLOW?
But the dear wasn’t expecting this
Couldn’t see it coming
Dashing in the twilight twinkle
Prancing before the dawn
Organic love language
Happy dancing vixen
Shot by cupid
Pupils dilated Wide open Had me wide open
Attempting to take in as much of him as I could
Running, trying to learn the whole forest despite the trees …
I wasn’t trying to be standoffish or nothin’
Just blindly in love
Couldn’t see the red flags
While frolicking through his meadows
Where suddenly light escalated quickly
He flashed hot bright And I was struck stuck trying to adjust Wondering
What is this?
When the lights came, I didn’t know how to react.
When presented with illuminated truth, I would have much rather stayed in the darkness, retreated to the darkness, than have a tarnished image of him burned into my retinas.
His truth traveled at the speed of anger; flooding my view; displaying his true character. No longer kindred spirit animal but maniacal machine.
Crashing dome
Bashing body
Careening into everything
I built up inside myself
Reckless
You would think he would slam his brakes, or at least swerve avoid contact.
It was as if I wasn’t a living creature in his malevolence.
He kept coming And coming And coming
I lay in shock at this fork in the road
unable to process stay or go
wondering if I bleed internal.
Black eye and bloody mouth
Fractured
Body and spirit
Split
Having an out of body experience
Looking down at my battered self
Seeing the sunken place I slipped into
Thinking
HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE TO JUST LAY THERE AND TAKE THE BLOW AFTER BLOW.
Feeling a combo
Self-pity and pissed
Yelling
MOVE STUPID DEAR
sweet sacred self
GIRL GET OUT!
MOVE
Sheri Purpose Hall is a poet, educator, activist, mother, ordained minister, and the author of several books of poetry who has won numerous awards for her written work and community engagement. As an African-American child brought up by a single mother in the heart of Kansas City, Missouri, she used poetry to fight her way through life’s struggles and still uses it therapeutically today. You can purchase her newest book, the deluxe edition of “Black Girl Shattered,” on her website.
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