by Sebastian Thomas
The Boy ran shirtless and aggressive
A rush of mid-waist purple and empty forward drive
Before contrasting brights wasted endless devotion
Empty coming after passion
And passion that I knew not, yet could recognize
And not break
Thick with envy and competition and guilt
Guilt producing a bowing of the head and a dark heart
A green diaphragm that sits ready and aging
That rots out the last breakaway
And is now controlled completely by men, no boys, where many are wasted and tied down until the finale
And now emblematic outcries in the all too rested feet drop off in the dump of fermenting dystrophy
Content themselves with pungent haze of apprenticed repetition waves
Surface level dystrophy that would boil with a film of black tar America
And demotic incoherent blab that terrifies itself into its translucent foreskin
A foreskin that for over a thousand suns gets peeled back and plucked of individuality within
Treasure that was honed by respect then bi-polared into spite
And for a quadrilateral of three and four age
A rhythm of wedging and filling in crevice on crevice with awkward cement of jabs and refining taste
Cement that hardened with comforts of phallus and proclamations masculinity that distorted then welcomed
And each grew to know that each pair was split and fraying at the edges
A chipped amethyst wrapped in chill sea that prepared comforts of there’s “always tomorrow”
Here obligations festered in the back of the red spotted head burn that announced animosity towards the throne
Yet wallow on fours when emperor child diddler dropped dangerous fees on company
And maternal mentors played the line up, “turn in your dicks boys” theatrics
It could be false promise that he did not run a spear through the walls
Neither did he hole the wall with canon balls, a forbidden pleasure
And so was a blessing where the rest of us fell short
Wild with erections of loud noise and orgasm
Knowing the sexual resentment of cordiality even sunrise of finals gained success
Humble boastings from persons to persons deemed the cello a sexual tyrannosaur causing breaks and dilated eyes
A room of orange and brown linked with similar trinkets defined as chamber randy refrain
And I never went back over there to paint figurines
I never went back over
Seething jealousy boiling in the pot of recognition bolted itself to the back of the skull
Yes fifty people came
Fifty
This compressed to acceptance and proud rebirth
Here is a man that in the hands of “God” could be presented blameless
Simply fed the wrong gruel by some jean jacket who held the boy to a higher standard
The pedestal
The ignorance
With toned arms and slide tackles that aimed towards joyous ankles greeting the fall with countering aggression
And that aggression that leaps up grabbing a stalk to splinter the shins and give guilt to the other
Not this guilt but a harmless self-indulgent shame in which one batters the other too much and stops risked silly games and demands satisfaction only to receive a counter and proceeds in limbo and ritual
Younger applicants were an excrete of that young healthy deuce that confidently announces the three year existence with shy malleability
Growing a scale of retort and wit while a murder of crows sits him down to dinner with monocles and begins chastising his figure over tension tamer tea
Like a regal boxer that cannot tuck tail between legs with testicles frosted by public remarks of capability
It must be received on hallowed practice
Because of tradition
It came to pass of my quiet intermingling and absorption
The dog with revealed ribs lying on its left side stirs and rises
Joining lions that snap jaw at ankles of another
Picking up pace with each other into head rocks and arm locks
The Baptist and I bound alliance together in Agri park chanting
“This is what it will be like at state”
Remembering’s of the protagonist passion of exhaustion loom in records
Myself crossing shadows of passer-byes in a fresh carved wake of hurt and collapse
Exhausting back, contemplating if failure or death is more valuable
Up the hill swaying in stride look left look right look left look right
I send negative energy out of the grey stare
The conveyor belt of strain works against man
The drive will dismiss the selfish gain though
The boy will succeed and I will trail afroed sufferers making “hegh” noises
Pioneering what I do without jealousy in his manor
That learning the nature of the fellow artist proves discontent avoidance
A nature that condemns a Christ like figure to be castrated and given barriers
And spine shivers grey finned fish at text and hunch
And false jubilations prove obvious
Causing each stone to be freshly mortared as waves of farewell prove to only be temporary
Losing sacred temple bodies that churn to ride pole and to be mounted
Forgetting holy lives, turning in the net of restrain and moistening
Instant regret wanes each lay as comfort in supposed blasphemy waxes
Still unable to satisfy each other deciding it as a case-by-case formal business
But the beauty of shared tipping points isn’t understood yet
And is lost information
They will turn up to the sun and deny it
Women and men both will proclaim a mask of non-acknowledgment
That they huddled under the shadow of the old Willow tree full of blind nothing
Bearing teeth and shaking their wolf-heads frantically in instant approval without understanding, ready to bite off the head of the messenger boy who came to give them the good news
Building up their personal fortress
Or tearing it down diffusing their guilt towards others
And would that it still was, the boy would have assisted their happiness
But they trumpet a filled perception of
The end is the end
And giving that to him in return, pick him out of their mephitic chops
The final year watches four deserve rest
The first a weasel, a young buck,
The next a wise whatever
The third a disturbed individual that will later lose his family
The fourth afroed winged savior grasping onto, “it hurts it hurts!”
And they crossed the wire line faultless
OH! A perfect accomplishment of human dedication
Calves searing red hot without evidence of the body except the posture and hunched limp
Nothing can spoil a moment like this laurel victory
Where one wins and the others disappear and
The rest is fiction
For up to anyone else would be full of lies and professed by neighbors
And it came and it went
In the time of leisure danced relays of fornication hearsay and distinct hot boxings
Where uncomfortable peers grow to absent minded philanders making cracks about nothing and repeating the same thing with more emphasis the second and third time grabbing ahold of the other person plagued with laughter
Where “wise whatever” grew and reclused
Becoming more obscure with style clothes and shameless showy displays of affection
Where the man loses to age
And loses the self to kinless kinship
The Captain spoke of hard times
Yet the retention of strength is evident in the following year
While the rest pissed away the gift of commitment in an instant apathy
The misplaced brilliance felt out of place amidst the mass of cast faces that sought primitive companions that met the basic needs of security
Seeking out someone who was willing wasn’t difficult but didn’t always bear fruit
It came with a burdening tax of attachment
The time of times spent together are cherished but hazed now by extensive miles and more extensive existence
And the extraterrestrial life that is smoked by youth for a forever harvest season
A brisk flash-forward to misted Juneway picking up the Devil and his Cabbage
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Categories: Poetry